The Motivation for Narcissistic Abuse Remember that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and abuse exist on a continuum, ranging from silence to violence. 4. Going no contact is sort of “the thing” these days. Staying No Contact With a Narcissist, For Good. Don't Feed Their Ego. Don't be reactive. There is nothing inherently wrong with you or bad about you if you have been the victim of a narcissists abuse. It is important to stay in control of your actions and words because the narcissist will not be able to do this. But when they lose control of the spin and narrative, they fear their entire world might crash down on them because people will think poorly of them. From my book, "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited": "The narcissist and psychopath hold such thinking in barely undisguised contempt. Narcissists are so crazy-making that they make you doubt the truth. What is reactive abuse?Why We Need To Stop Explaining Ourselves To A Narcissist. As a result of chronic abuse, victims may struggle with symptoms of PTSD or Complex PTSD if they had additional traumas like being abused by narcissistic parents or even what is known as “Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome” (Staggs, 2016; Stailk, 2017). Narcissists have a pretty impressive sense of self. There are many other forms of abuse, such as sexual, financial, emotional, mental, and verbal. 3. The narcissist is likely to have hidden or diverted assets. In this scenario, the victim snaps at the abuser. The narcissist wants to control the spin entirely. It is critical that you are armed with irrefutable, undeniable and corroborated evidence. They need to control the narrative and what the future holds. If you’ve been repeatedly traumatized, you may have become hypervigilant and over-reactive. While some of the other forms of abuse are obvious, mental abuse by a narcissist … Do a Reality Check After the Narcissist Spins a Story. But you must try to resist it because defending yourself is still engaging with the narcissist, which constitutes a form of contact. For an in-depth look at the psychology of narcissism, read 20 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Narcissism. To them, it is a sign of weakness, the scent of prey, a gaping vulnerability. This kind of behavior is called gas-lighting and it’s a form of emotional abuse. Avoid giving the narcissist any credible alternative scenarios to the facts. It is possible to break a narcissist in court, but one needs to be well prepared. If you want to get around a jab from a narcissist, stay cool and don't have a reaction to the emotions around you. Reactive abuse: A very common aspect of psychological abuse and manipulation is for the abuser to claim that the victim is being abusive towards them. Narcissists sometimes just want an emotional reaction. 8. They use and abuse this human need for order, good, and meaning - as they use and abuse all other human needs. 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